Phrases to Avoid When  Writing Your Own Wedding
Vows

14> "HEY, BITCH, LISTEN UP!!"

13> "...in sickness and in health, unless it's
Super Bowl Sunday."

12> "... and henceforth, thus referring to
section 4.7, paragraph 3, line 29 in said
prenuptial agreement..."

11> "...to appease Cthullhu."

10> "...a much better lay than my brother."

9> "...until debt do us part."

8> "DaHjaj SuvwI'e' jIH!"  (Trekkie weddings
only)

7> "...to love, honor, and fillet..."

6> "...and at least consider the possibility of
an occasional  three-way."

5> "...to love, honor, and protect you from the
real killers..."

4> "till death, or a reasonable enough
facsimile thereof, do us part."

3> "...in IPO or Chapter 11...."

2> "...on Springer or Montel..."

1> "In the words of Elizabeth Taylor..."