When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my
speedometer doesn't go that high.

Touch him.

When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

When he puts handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops!  That's the
wrong name."

When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please"
right when he says it.

When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear
you!"

Trip and fall into him.

Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose.  You have to use his pen.

Clean your ear with the pen.

If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

Ask if he has a daughter.  If he says yes, say I thought your name
sounded familiar....

Mumble to yourself.

When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

Talk to your hand.

When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

Play with the siren.

When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck
your thumb, and whine.

Ask if you can see his gun.

Tell him you like men in uniform.