10/ No one wants to come near you.

9/ You can legally take sedatives.

8/ You realize guests on daytime talk 
shows have worse lives than you do.

7/ You get away with being rude, 
obnoxious and surly.

6/ You can smell like a baboon's butt 
and nobody complains.

5/ You can shlep about the house unwashed 
and in your housecoat all day.

4/ No matter how bad you feel, it's still 
better than how you felt after last month's 
tequila 'n' gin party.

3/ Star Trek re-runs.

2/ Your dog is allowed on the bed.

1/ You get to pass the virus on to those you 
really dislike.