Corduroy pillows are making headlines. ----------------------------------------------------------- Two cows are standing in a field... First cow: I'm a bit concerned about this mad cow disease that's going around. Second cow: I'm not worried, it doesn't affect penguins.... --------------------------------------------------------- A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." ... The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."... --------------------------------------------------------- Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. A fool and his money are soon partying. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. --------------------------------------------------------- All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade." The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted. A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend. He said "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!" --------------------------------------------------------- QUOTES "If I paid for these, I'd like them to look a lot better than this." -'Buffy The Vampire Star' Sarah Michelle Geller denying that she's had breast implants "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -- Rodney Dangerfield