AUSTRALIAN LINGO
An American astronaut has an emergency during his re-entry
into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash-lands in
the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere.
After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush
clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is
bandaged from head to foot. He sees a very large, somewhat
gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.

"Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and
fear.

"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yesterday."

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew
the answer so quickly. "How do you know
that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up,
like the preacher said: '4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer ,4
poorer.'