TOP TEN AMISH SPRING BREAK ACTIVITIES

1.  Drink molasses 'til you heave

2.  Wet bonnet contest

3.  Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy

4.  Buttermilk keggar

5.  Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really rad Clydesdale

6.  Get a tattoo: "Born to raise barns"

7.  Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with zippers

8.  Sleep 'til 6 AM

9.  Drive over to Allensville and kick some Mennonite rear

10. Churn butter naked




Amish Pickup Lines


Are thee at barn-raisings often?

If our religion didn't forbid the use of telephones, I would ask thee
for thy number.

Can I buy thee a buttermilk colada?

You've really got the build for that plain bonnet and shapeless black
dress.

Say, my favorite movie is Witness, too!

Are thee a model?

There are so many phonies at these quilting bees. Let's go someplace
quiet.

Thy buggy has a cool lacquer job.

I got Sinatra tickets...

Are thee up for some plowing?