There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She smelled like shit,
And was missing a tit.
But think of the money he saved.
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There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
As he said with great glee,
As it hung past his knee,
"If my nose were a cunt I could fuck it"
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There was an old man from Wheeling
Who got drunk and started reeling
He tripped on a crack
and fell on his back
and pissed all over the ceiling.
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A Flighty young gal named Melissa,
Was careless as hell on the pissa...
     One day in the rush,
     She was caught in the flush,
And goodness knows all of us missa!
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There once was a man named Fred,
He was in search of getting head.
He went to Dallas,
And found a Pussy Palace,
And settled for that instead!!
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There was a young fellow from Yale,
Whose face was exceedingly pale...
He spent his vacation,
In self-masturbation,
Because of the high price of tail.
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