Top Complaints of Mrs. Santa Claus


Every year it's the same: one month of overtime, eleven
months of food stamps and ESPN.

One little red elf-sock in the wrong hamper and you've got
yourself a whole load of pink underwear.

The big guy's been despondent ever since the santatoyz.com
IPO fell through.

Two words: "Reindeer-Style"

He can remember which of 2.4 billion kids have been naughty
or nice... but does he remember to replace the roll of toilet
paper when it runs out? Nooooooo.

That chubby little beret-wearing intern elf seems to be
awfully smitten with Santa.

One night a year to sneak out with the girlfriends, and all
the bars are closed.

Elf farts.

365 days a year of freezing weather = 365 days of elf
wisecracks about your "headlights" being on.

That "The bag's all empty -- but Santa has a little something
for you in his pants!" line got old about 250 years ago.

Ever tried getting squished-elf stains and reindeer poop out of red
velvet pants?

That "bowl full of jelly" isn't so amusing when it's on top of you.