The Top 14 Things You'd Never Hear Your Mother
Say


14> "...and that's when I bitch-slapped the police officer, grabbed 
his gun, and busted a cap in his sorry ass."

13> "It's okay to say 'I love you' if you just want sex.
Trust me -- girls understand that."

12> "Look, if you can't clean out the stems and seeds properly,
stay out of my stash!"

11> "How was your date, son?  Did you nail her?"

10> "It's hot outdoors... why don't you two play that 'running
around inside with scissors' game?"

9> "Oh, no!  Not ANOTHER friggin' grandchild!"

8> "I hear that nice Mr. Condit is single."

7> "I am through judging everybody and everything."

6> "Not only can you go swimming right after dinner,
you get to eat dessert in the pool, too!"

5> "Have you ever noticed what an incredible
ripoff the flower delivery industry is?"

4> "Whoa -- get a load of the rack on that babe!"

3> "That state trooper can kick the trunk lid all he wants, 
we're not stopping until we get to Mexico."

2> "You call *that* a left hook?"

1> "You're right.  I'm wrong."